HOLISTIC WELLNESS BLOG
TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE. LITTLE CHANGES MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE
TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE. LITTLE CHANGES MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE
Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart; Part 2 LOW SELF ESTEEM IS A GATEWAY DRUG. Taking Responsibility This is part 2 in a series. Click "Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart" in the categories menu to go to the full series. Click here for part 1 Last week we identified that low self-esteem is the original “gateway drug” even if your challenges have nothing whatsoever to do with substance abuse. Click here to read the post. I also said that, even if you don’t initially think it applies to you, I’d illustrate how it may - so stay with me. Today we’ll discuss how accepting this truth – that low self-esteem is source of our issues - can change this gateway drug into your gateway to healing. LET’S EXPLORE SOME SCENARIOS:
Do any of these statements – or a version of them – resonate with you? Now read them again, but this time tack on the words “Because I feel so good about myself.” at the end. For a clearer illustration you can watch the companion video by clicking here. Now you get it, right? It’s entirely contradictory. Any type of behavior that doesn’t honor yourself or who you want to be, isn’t in service of your dream, or in pursuit of being or becoming the very best version of yourself, comes from a place of feeling “less than.” People who truly feel good about themselves don’t think, speak, or behave in ways that are people pleasing, unhelpful, unkind, lack understanding or have a positive purpose – regardless of whether it’s directed inward or outward. There’s no shame in feeling less than. It just is. And the sooner you can embrace that the sooner you can get on with doing something about making it better. Note – don’t confuse an inflated ego with a healthy self-worth! Ego is the opposite side of the same low-self esteem coin. People who feel good about themselves don’t have to blow themselves up in an attempt to impress others. A healthy self-esteem isn’t greater than or less than; It’s equal to. SO, NOW WHAT? I’ll tell you everything – step by step - in this series. Again - It’s free. There’s nothing to buy to gain access to all of it. If you’d really like you can read my book, Kintsukuroi Heart; More Beautiful For Having Been Broken, or order the companion workbook to this series, Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart, both on Amazon, but you certainly don’t have to. All you really need is occasional access to the internet and a pad and pen. Oh, and a deep commitment to change… if only you could order that on Amazon! HOW I AND WHY I CREATED THIS PROGRAM. I had issues. Big issues. As I mentioned before, the specifics of how those issues presented themselves aren’t important right now. I’ll talk more about them in a later video/blog. Initially, I worked through my issues by taking the traditional route of therapy, medication*, self-help groups and talking with friends, which all worked and I still recommend. But for me, they only worked for so long and only to a degree. They were either too costly, didn’t go deep enough or they addressed the symptoms and not the root cause; I needed to dig down and truly change the way I looked at things and, most importantly, change how I viewed myself. If I could do that, I knew my life would change. *Note - titrated off of my anti-depression medication with the permission and under the very close supervision of my doctor. Never EVER replace the experience of another over the advice of your trusted health care professional! Over the years I’d gathered inspiration through books and movies. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Under the Tuscan Sun (the movie). A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson. Educated by Tara Westover. Wild by Cheryl Strayed. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Menton. The list goes on. (All linked below!) However, most of the books and films in this genre, wonderful stories that I have deeply loved (I recommend them all and have linked* all the titles above and below), came from a place so unique that, although fabulously inspirational were, for me, mostly unrelatable or unactionable – the experiences of the very fortunate or wealthy, or situations so extreme that very few people find themselves – offering remedies that were simply out of my reach. I wasn’t in a position to take time away at the beach or travel around the world to find myself, I had to work! I didn’t have extra money or a scholarship to an Ivy League school. I deeply admired those who did and longed to be in their shoes, but I simply wasn’t. There were times when I couldn’t even afford to buy those books or a ticket to the movies, I checked them out of the library. But I read them. I watched them. They inspired me and gave me something to shoot for! So, being a determined and resourceful little bugger and having the professional training, I devised a way to do these extraordinary things – to embark on a life-altering journey of healing – without leaving home and with rather ordinary resources. These “ordinary” circumstances are what often stops women from doing something extraordinary. You are my people and I am here to inspire you! I put myself on an intense minimalistic, at home self-retreat. Exactly what I would do if I paid thousands of dollars to go away on retreat or soul searching quest. I committed to addressing my issues via holistic wellness, intentional physical exercise, and the mind/body/spirit connection. I tried new things. I practiced yoga and meditation, and began living with defined intention. I unplugged and sought peace, quiet, and solitude. These things are easily accessible and available to all of us for free or at very little cost. In fact, once I went into this wholeheartedly – a time of concentrated self-discovery and minimalism - I actually saved a ton of money. This realistic vantage point is one way in which I feel this program is different; it's wholly accessible and meets you at a place where many of us find ourselves when starting over. I know it works because I created it, I’ve applied it, I’ve lived it, I’ve practiced it and afterwards, the really poor life choices I’d been allowing to enter my life on a daily basis became inconceivable to me. Not because I focused on changing those choices but because I changed how I felt on the inside. The positive choices I began making became a symptom of how I felt about myself just like the negative ones had been. I didn’t work on the symptoms –I addressed the root cause of the symptoms. I healed the person who was making them. To be clear, I had to clean up the mess of some of those choices and so will you. Not to worry, I’ll help. I’ll give you the tools and we’ll go over all of it, step by step. Now is your time to work on acceptance. To ready yourself to embark upon a journey of deep and lasting change and true transformation. Next week, we start the transformation. Quote of the Day: "The positive choices I began making became a symptom of how I felt about myself just like the negative ones had been. I didn’t work on the symptoms –I addressed the root cause of the symptoms. I healed the person who was making them." Amie Gabriel If you can relate to any, or all of these statements to any degree, I’ll see you here in the next installment. Thursday, January 21st at 1 pm Pacific time. Can you relate? Are you considering participating in this program? Please let us know what you think! Comment below... I's love to hear your thoughts! xoAmie Scroll down for the YouTube Companion Video! ORDER AMIE'S BOOK BY CLICKING HERE
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TAKING THE FIRST STEP. Is there something – or several things – that are preventing you from being the very best version of yourself and achieving your goals? What if I told you that all your counterproductive thoughts, words, actions, beliefs – whether they’re directed toward yourself, toward others, or both – all trace back to just one thing? One single source. And if you can embrace that idea, and heal that one thing, you won’t even have to try to do better in the future because directing your energy toward anything other than the most positive aspects of your life becomes unthinkable. In this blog post we will name that one thing and talk a bit about what it’s going to take to heal it. In a series of upcoming weekly blog posts and companion videos, I’ll be going in-depth and guiding you through the steps toward healing. Regardless of whether you decide to fully immerse yourself into this program or just glean insight and advice for self-improvement from the weekly posts, it will cost you no money and there’s nothing to buy or sign up for – just read the posts, watch the videos and, of course, take action. Sound interesting? Keep reading! But first... In case we haven’t met, I’m Amie Gabriel, holistic wellness expert, author, and former train wreck. This is my program and I originally developed it to heal my own life. It worked and now I’m sharing it with you. CUTTING TO THE CHASE Negativity, poor choices, an unproductive or unhealthy lifestyle. I’m talking about the things that prevent you from being the very best version of yourself and achieving your goals. Things within your control. These diversions and roadblocks can appear in your life in a multitude of ways, varying greatly from one person to the next so, for now, the specifics – how they present themselves in your life - don’t matter. They are the SYMPTOMS and we’ll get to them later. What matters right now is getting their root cause. Their source. The one thing that allows them to present themselves to begin with. Because when you heal the source, the symptoms take care of themselves. How do I know? Because I lived through it and this is exactly what I did to heal. COULD THIS BE FOR YOU? HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS: Is there something in your life that isn’t working? Something you’d like to change? Are you lacking joy or just not feeling as happy and fulfilled as you’d like? Are you stuck in grief over the loss of a loved one, relationship or other life circumstance? Are you making poor choices or feeling unempowered? Are you depressed or maybe not in not in love with your job, your level of fitness or your reflection in the mirror? Is fear keeping you from moving forward? Is there a goal you’d like to achieve but just haven’t made it happen? Maybe things aren’t so bad – maybe you’ve already overcome some obstacles - but you just know things could be better and you want more. Maybe you’re like me when I began this journey – I didn’t particularly want to put forth the energy required to transform but nothing in my life was working and everything needed to change – or maybe you’re somewhere in the middle? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, keep reading. WHAT’S IT GOING TO TAKE TO CHANGE? Regardless of where you find yourself on the spectrum of challenges, there are a few common denominators that foster change.
Are you ready to embark on a life-altering journey of healing – without a ton of money and without leaving home? Or maybe just find out more about it? I have done it and, in this series - all at no cost – I will show you how. WHAT I DID TO HEAL. I healed by putting myself on an in-depth, at home, self-retreat - while working full-time - and I’ll share with you how you can, too. Let me tell you up front, it isn’t quick or easy – a true commitment to lasting change on a very deep level rarely is - but it’s simple, entirely doable, costs little or no money, and is SO worth it. LET’S GET RIGHT TO THE SOURCE. And once we do, even if you don’t initially think it applies to you, stay with me – I’ll illustrate how it may. So, what is the one thing that became damaged in your past that spawned – and allowed – any and all the negative behavior that followed? Three words; Low Self Esteem. Low self-esteem is the original gateway drug. No matter what your drug of choice is… even if your drug or choice has nothing whatsoever to do with drugs, it’s a catch-all phrase. "Drug of choice" just means the manner in which negativity presents itself in your life. And if low self-esteem is the gateway drug for counterproductivity to take root, then a healthy self-esteem – true self-worth - is the immunity. In the next post/video Low Self Esteem is a Gateway Drug I will illustrate how low self-esteem is the original chink in the armor, regardless of how it presents itself or effects your life or to what degree; even if you think your self-esteem is just fine. In the meantime, here’s the short version. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again… but I did. I promised that this time I’d get it done. But I didn’t I know better, but… If you can relate to any, or all of these statements to any degree, I’ll see you here in the next installment. Thursday, January 14th at 1 pm Pacific time. Can you relate? Are you considering participating in this program? Please let us know what you think! Comment below... I's love to hear your thoughts! xoAmie Quote of the Day "When you heal the source, the symptoms take care of themselves." Amie Gabriel Watch the Companion Video Below! Read Amie's Book: KINTSUKUROI HEART; More Beautiful for Having Been Broken Order on Amazon Kindle or in paperback by clicking HERE!! Check out the video for three big announcements for the New Year! Let me know what you think in the comments! xoAmie Order Amie's book. KINTSUKUROI HEART on Kindle or in paperback by clicking on the Amazon Affiliate Book Link below!
Thank you so much, xoAmie It was the darkest day of my life. Not the day you might think. Not the day my husband died. It happened before that.
It was early April, the day my husband was scheduled for surgery. That was the day the surgeon emerged from the operating room two hours late – two hours after the time the surgery was expected to end. He ushered us out of the main waiting area and into a private, adjoining room and he closed the door. That’s when he told us that he was terribly sorry but they had been wrong. What they were so sure was a blood clot against the portal vein in my husband’s liver was, in fact, a large tumor. The cancer was back. As the saying goes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and in my pursuit of higher learning much time was spent on anatomy, physiology, and pathology. I’d found the classes fascinating and I’d paid close attention. I’d learned how the human body works, starting at the cellular level. I’d studied the circulatory system; how a cell in the blood stream is transported through the body like a leaf swept along with the current of a river. I understood what a tumor pressed against the permeable wall of a vein could do. I knew that once the mutated cells were loose in the bloodstream there would be no stopping them. I’d studied hard and I’d aced my tests. And so, I knew. The room started spinning and I couldn’t really hear much after that. I remember I had to find a bathroom because I became physically ill. When I returned to the little room, the doctor tried to explain what this all meant. However, my ability to hear and my level of comprehension were intermittent at best. I became intensely aware of the sound of my own heartbeat echoing inside my skull, as though I’d run full speed up ten flights of stairs then cupped my hands over my ears. Sandwiched between the deafening pulses of blood through my brain, I heard bits and pieces of the doctor’s attempt at optimism: “Start chemo… got it early… chances are good… still get a transplant…” But I knew. Only two other thoughts were running through my head. The first, oddly enough, was my deep concern for the people in the next room. In an out-of-body moment of self-observation, I suddenly realized that I was no longer sitting in stunned silence, tears running down my face; I was now doubled over and I was screaming. Reality was crashing in and because my body lacked the physical size to contain the enormity of it all, I had unknowingly morphed into a kind of human volcano, earsplitting wails erupting from my mouth. I thought how that must be scaring the hell out of the people in the next room – who were waiting, as I had been, for their loved one to come out of surgery. You see, what was coming out of my mouth was not a sound one would associate with humans. It was the sound of mournful horror. A primal manifestation of terror and disbelief. It is the sound that would come out if the Earth cracked open and all of hell spilled forth. Because, in that moment, I knew. The other thought was this. We had been so hopeful, so sure, that this surgery was the opening of the door to recovery. This surgery was the last hurdle to be cleared so my husband could get on the list for his liver transplant, and a long, happy, healthy life was ahead. We were so close and we were so excited. But it wasn’t the case. This, instead, was our worst nightmare. Still, I knew one more thing had to be done that was even worse than what was happening now. With this realization, I bellowed as I felt myself falling into the abyss. Somewhere within these hospital walls, the sweetest, kindest soul lay deeply sleeping, blissfully unaware. In a few hours, he would be awake. How, in God’s name, would I tell this to my husband? So, on the seventh of April, on a beguiling spring day, the lights went out, the walls closed in, the sky fell down and the rug got pulled out from under me, all at once. It was the beginning of the end of the world. And I knew. Next week's post, Chapter Two; Tipsy on Thursday, December 17th at 10 am Eastern, 1: pm Pacific time Want to read it all right now? Order on Kindle or in paperback by clicking HERE! Thank you so much, xoAmie HEALING YOUR KINTSUKUROI HEART; Part 2
This is part 2 in a series. Click here for part 1 Last week we identified that low self-esteem is the original “gateway drug” even if your challenges have nothing whatsoever to do with substance abuse. Click here to read the post. I also said that, even if you don’t initially think it applies to you, I’d illustrate how it may - so stay with me. Today we’ll discuss how accepting this truth – that low self-esteem is source of our issues - can change this gateway drug into your gateway to healing. LET’S EXPLORE SOME SCENARIOS:
Do any of these statements – or a version of them – resonate with you? If so, read the one(s) that do(es) again, but this time tack on the words “Because I feel so good about myself.” at the end. For a clearer illustration you can watch the companion video here. Now you get it, right? It’s contradictory. Any type of behavior that doesn’t honor yourself or who you want to be, isn’t in service of your dream – or in pursuit of being or becoming the very best version of yourself, comes from a place of feeling “less than.” People who truly feel good about themselves don’t think, speak, or behave in ways that are people pleasing, unhelpful, unkind, lack understanding or have a positive purpose – regardless of whether it’s directed inward or outward. There’s no shame in feeling less than. It just is. And the sooner you can embrace that the sooner you can get on with doing something about making it better. Note – don’t confuse an inflated ego with a healthy self-worth! Ego is the opposite side of the same low-self esteem coin. People who feel good about themselves don’t have to blow themselves up in an attempt to impress others. A healthy self-esteem isn’t greater than or less than; It’s equal to. SO, NOW WHAT? I’ll tell you everything – step by step - in this series. Again - It’s free. There’s nothing to buy to gain access to all of it. If you’d really like you can read my book, Kintsukuroi Heart; More Beautiful For Having Been Broken, or order the companion workbook to this series, both on Amazon, but you certainly don’t have to. All you really need is occasional access to the internet and a pad and pen – real or virtual. Oh, and a deep commitment to change… if only you could order that on Amazon! HOW I AND WHY I CREATED THIS PROGRAM. I had issues. Big issues. As I mentioned before, the specifics of how those issues presented themselves aren’t important right now. I’ll talk more about them in a later video/blog. Initially, I worked through my issues by taking the traditional route of therapy, self-help groups and talking with friends, which all worked and I still recommend. But for me, they only worked for so long and only to a degree. They were either too costly, didn’t go deep enough or they addressed the symptoms and not the root cause; I needed to dig down and truly change the way I looked at things and, most importantly, change how I viewed myself. If I could do that, I knew my life would change. Over the years I’d gathered inspiration through books and movies. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Under the Tuscan Sun (the movie). A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson. Educated by Tara Westover. Wild by Cheryl Strayed. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Menton. The list goes on. However, most of the books and films in this genre, wonderful stories that I have deeply loved (I recommend them all and have linked them below), came from a place so unique that, although fabulously inspirational, were for me, mostly unrelatable or unactionable – the experiences of the very fortunate or wealthy, or situations so extreme that very few people find themselves – offering remedies that were simply out of my reach. I wasn’t in a position to take time away at the beach or travel around the world to find myself, I had to work! I didn’t have extra money or a scholarship to an Ivy League school. I deeply admired those who did and longed to be in their shoes, but I simply wasn’t. There were times when I couldn’t even afford to buy those books or a ticket to the movies, I checked them out of the library. But I read them. I watched them. They inspired me and gave me something to shoot for! So, being a determined and resourceful little bugger and having the professional training, I devised a way to do these extraordinary things – to embark on a life-altering journey of healing – without leaving home and with rather ordinary resources. These “ordinary” circumstances are what often stops women from doing something extraordinary. You are my people and I am here to inspire you! I put myself on an intense minimalistic, at home self-retreat. Exactly what I would do if I paid thousands of dollars to go away on retreat. I committed to addressing my issues via holistic wellness, intentional physical exercise, and the mind/body/spirit connection. I practiced yoga and meditation, and began living with defined intention. I unplugged and sought peace, quiet, and solitude. These things are easily accessible and available to all of us for free or at very little cost. In fact, once I went into this wholeheartedly – a time of concentrated self-discovery and minimalism - I actually saved a ton of money. This realistic vantage point is one way in which I feel this program is different; it wholly accessible and meets you at a place where many of us find ourselves when starting over. I know it works because I created it, I’ve applied it, I’ve lived it, I’ve practiced it and afterwards, the really poor life choices I’d been allowing to enter my life on a daily basis became inconceivable to me. Not because I focused on changing those choices but because I changed how I felt on the inside. I healed the person who was making them. The positive choices I began making became a symptom of how I felt about myself just like the negative ones had been. I didn’t work on the symptoms –I addressed the root cause of the symptoms. To be clear, I had to clean up the results of some of those choices and so will you. Not to worry, I’ll help. I’ll give you the tools and we’ll go over all of it, step by step. Now is your time to work on acceptance. To ready yourself to embark upon a journey of deep and lasting change and true transformation. Next week, we start the transformation. "A healthy self-esteem isn’t greater than or less than; It’s equal to." Amie Gabriel |
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