This weeks blog is a deeply relaxing 15-minute guided meditation!

​Let the hypnotic rhythm of the lapping waves transport you to a private, misty cove in this deeply relaxing, multi-sensory guided meditation like nothing you've ever experienced! Allow yourself to be supported by positive affirmations as you drift away to your own cozy seaside sanctuary... and breathe...

Music & meditation written by Amie Gabriel.  Images by Canva Pro

Do you know what is really stressful? Running late. When we manage our day to include what I call “the luxury of time” everything runs much more smoothly and it is so much easier to remain calm, centered and, well, pleasant to be around. This takes planning. What that plan includes is a time buffer. Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say dinner is at 6 pm and the stuffed peppers you’ve made need to cook for 1 hour. You’ve gone trough the trouble of prepping your meal in advance and all you need to do is pop the pan in the oven. You can’t head to the kitchen at 5 pm and expect the peppers to be ready to serve at 6. You have to stop whatever your doing (we’ll get to that in a minute) turn on the oven - check what temperature you need to set the oven if you don’t remember offhand – let it pre-heat. If you haven’t made them several times before you’ll want to leave a little bit of extra time just in case they’re not fully cooked in the allotted time. Once they’re done you’ll want a few minutes to let them set when they come out of the oven, plate them and get them to the table. It’s impossible to do that in an hour if they need an hour to cook. I start the process 15 minutes before hand, at 4:45. If they happen to be done early it’s a lot easier to keep something warm for a few minutes than to will it to cook faster. I know, I’ve tried.

If you have to be somewhere at 3:00 and your GPS says it takes 15 minutes to get there, if you leave the house at 2:45 you’re probably going to be a little late. If you’re not concerned about this perhaps you may want to expand your focus a bit to include the importance of other people’s time, just sayin’! You have to exit your home, get to the car, turn it on, back it out and get on the road…. The 15 minutes is actual drive time from address to address and it doesn’t allow for red lights, being behind a slow driver, parking or getting yourself physically to where you’re supposed to be, so you should do it in stead. The amount of buffer time is going to vary depending upon where you live and where you’re going. If you live in an apartment building and you have to take an elevator down to the parking garage you’re obviously going to have to allow more time than if your car is parked 3 feet from your door on the curb of a quiet street. Or if you live in a quiet town or a major city. If you’ve been to the place before and know exactly how to get there or your relying on directions or if you can park right in from or have to search for a spot with a parking meter or in a garage. When I lived in a small town I’d leave at least 10 mins early and when I lived in LA I’d often head out a half an hour early. It just depends.

There’s also the time – as my mother used to say – to start moving toward the door. Is it winter time? Do you have to put on a coat, scarf and gloves? Do you know where they are? Are you certain you’ll like how they look when you put them on? Where are your purse and keys? How about that file you absolutely have to take with you? Are they all neatly assembled near the door? They should be!


Are you always on time or chronically late?

Do you have any time saving tricks you'd like to share? Post them in the comments below!

xoAmie

Originally Posted July, 2019 - Now with a companion video!

“The order or disorder of my surroundings is directly proportionate to my state of mind.  Visual and physical clutter is the external manifestation of my internal clutter.”  
 
One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself was tidying up and organizing my home.  No matter where I lived it seemed there was never a sense of order which, for me, meant no sense of peace or calm. 

Initially, it was the entire place.  It was a mess.  It isolated me and I never opened my home to family or friends because I was ashamed. God forbid someone showed up unannounced “Sorry about the mess!  I’m right in the middle of purging and reorganizing the whole place!” I’d smile and lie while cringing inside.  Even when I finally managed to straighten the common areas, there was always a section, a room, that was jam packed with junk, boxes never unpacked, clothes; cupboards and closets that oozed forth their jumbled contents whenever I dared open the door. It was stressful, and because I couldn’t lay my hands on anything, a massive time thief.

Long before I'd ever heard of "Sparking Joy", I made the decision to face the overwhelming task and address it once and for all. There is a lot of emotional energy tangled up in that mess and to move it is to unleash it.  Doing so was greatly upsetting and often made me feel sick to my stomach.   I knew it was going to take several weeks or more to tackle it all but it had to be done.

I’d pick a day, shore myself up mentally, open the windows wide, and attack.  I did it piece by piece, section by section, room by room.  I made piles: trash, donate, sell, keep. Once I lay my hands on something, I would only allow myself to set it down in one of the four piles.  If I didn’t love it or truly need it I let it go (this often required some seriously tough self-love: “C’mon, Amie, just face it.  You are never, EVER going to use that pasta maker.”) And there was no room for excuses: “But this belonged to so and so” or “Whosiwhatsis gave it to me!”  I was no longer in the business of being an emotional storage unit.  For clothing, it had to meet all three of the following criteria: it had to “flatter the wearer”; aka make me look and feel like a million bucks, be age appropriate (just because I can doesn’t mean I ought to!) and have no tears, stains, or wear, otherwise it was gone.

When I was done sorting, the items I wanted to sell went on Craig’s List that same day and the garbage and giveaways were taken out of the house immediately.  The trash went to the curb or straight to the dump and all donations went directly to the car to be dropped that day or as soon as the place was open.   I had one hard rule: once it was out of the house it didn’t come back. 

Then, I’d clean the area top to bottom.  The more I had gotten rid of the easier it was to put away and organize what was left.

It was a huge job but once it was done, I felt amazing.  For days afterward, I would keep going back to the newly cleaned area to gaze upon and admire my work.  I started keeping my car clean, too. How different this all made me feel!!  Oprah Winfrey (or maybe it was Nate Burkus on the Oprah Show?) once said “Your home should rise up to meet you.”  This is so true!  Few things feel better to me than waking up or coming home to a tidy space.  It shows respect for my belongings, my home, and myself. 

​xoAmie

 How do you feel about keeping you home in order?  Have you done it? Do you hope to?    Or do you like your crap just the way it is, thank you very much! 

Please comment below.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and experience!  Maybe you have a source of inspiration you'd like to share?  

Recommended Inspiration: 
Six words: Nate Burkus, Oprah Winfrey, 'Nuff Said: http://www.oprah.com/home/take-nate-berkus-home-with-you_1

As an Amazon Affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.  Thank you for your support! xo
​Nate always inspires and Marie Kondo has Sparked me some serious Joy!! 

​Post 10 - Move a Muscle Change a Thought

Going on a personal, long term self-retreat requires commitment and discipline.   You need time and quite to focus inward and to practice self-care.  The goal is to develop a true sense of self and figure out who you are as an individual.  To get to know yourself and to be autonomous.  Who are you when you have the freedom to act independently… without the input, judgement or opinions of others whispering in your ear?
 
As we first discussed in part 3, you must learn be kind to yourself, practice self-respect, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and there is to be no negative self-talk.  No putting yourself down or calling yourself bad names.  Like the saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, we should say nothing at all.  If you are going to change the way you feel about yourself, you need to treat yourself like you are important and worthy, and you must to rewrite your internal dialogue.
 
Once you cut out the clutter and the noise, you’ll be amazed at how much time you discover.  Go for walks but go in silence.  No music in your headphones.  Listen to the birds singing, look at the sky and the trees.  If you find it impossible to turn off the negative chatter in your head then it’s ok to listen to meditations with positive affirmations, light classical or meditation music especially those with sounds of nature in the background, but keep the volume low and relaxing.  But use this only as a bridge.  Your goal is to be able to spend quiet time with yourself without noise and distractions.  I suggest that you use the same refocusing technique for walking as you do for meditation.  When your thoughts begin to wander bring the focus back to the breath.  There’s no hurry to this goal it’s a marathon not a sprint.
 
Also, the ultimate goal here is not to walk without thought, it’s to walk without “noise” and/or negative thought.  Moving the body is one of the best ways to clear your head and consider where you’d like your life to go and come up with plans on how best to get there.  I’ve had some of my best ideas and greatest epiphanies while hiking and walking!
 
Here’s an exercise.

• If you cannot keep negative thoughts out of your head and find walking with soothing music much more calming that’s perfectly fine.  Let’s say you go for a one hour walk every day.
• Week One:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for your full walk.
• Week Two:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for the first 50 minutes and walk the last 10 minutes in silence.
• Week Three:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for the first 45 minutes and walk the last 15 minutes in silence.
• Continue doing this and every week add another 5 minutes of walking without and headphones.

 
I suggest that when you walk, you take your cell phone for safety but turn it to silent, turn off vibrate, and refrain from checking it for the duration of your walk. 
 
practice yoga and meditation. 
 
Conversely, I offer the same advice for meditation as I do for walking.  If you’re unable to “clear your head” as it were while meditating start with short, guided meditations. 

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PART 9 - FEED YOUR SOUL
 
What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted and had all day to do it?
 
When you get rid of the time vampires in your life you gain an enormous amount of time and when you’re on a quest to get to know yourself it is your divine right to find the answer to that question.
 
Every so often, take a day to feed your soul and do whatever makes you happy.  Every Sunday morning during my self-retreat – and for many years after - I went to “church”.  For me, nature is my church so I went on a long hike in the woods.  I had a book called “50 Hikes in Connecticut” by Mary Anne Hardy and each week – weather permitting - I’d pick a different hike and study up on it as Sunday approached.  Armed with the book, maps I’d printed at the library, my hiking pack, snacks, lunch and water, I’d let someone know where I was planning to go (for safety) and head out early in the morning.  It was my bliss.  I’d disappear onto a trail, hiking along immersed in the sounds and scents of the woods.  I’d picnic on rock with an overlook or picking table provided by the state parks, and I have myself a fine time!
 
Question:  What will you do to feed your soul? 
Answer: Anything you damn well please!  

What will you do to feed your soul?  Let me know in the comments below!  xoAmie
​
​As an Amazon Affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.  Thank you for your support! xo

Watch the companion Video! 

 POST 10 - TAKING BACK YOUR POWER
 
We’ve spoken in terms of what you’d have to give up by letting go of some of the modern conveniences rather than what you will gain.  It’s time to flip that conversation.  Those of us old enough to remember the time before computers and cell phones… and even a time before email and answering machines may have an easier time of this.
 
The news was on in the evening.  If you needed more you could read the paper but there wasn’t a constant assault of noise and information.  If something really big happened, news wise, they’d break into programming to deliver it.  Often someone would call to ask if you’d heard it.  If you missed that, the news would get to you one way or another and not having instant knowledge didn’t change what happened.  News has a way of traveling with or without an app notification.  Speaking of notifications I have all of mine turned off.  I check them they don’t check me.
 
When I was younger we had a natural way of prioritizing and focusing on what was right in front of us.  If you were out playing and the phone rang you simply missed the call never even knowing that it came.  If it was important they’d call back.  We did things without interruption.  If we were out having a meal with a friend the words “sorry, I have to take this” never crossed our lips.  We just did the one thing.  What a concept! 
 
Believe it or not, we can return to this singleness of focus.  The cell phone, tv, and radio all have off buttons.  If we’re having a meal with a friend, going out for a walk, watching a movie or otherwise occupied, why not switch off your phone?  If this thought makes you uneasy ask yourself one question; Who’s in charge around here?  You or the phone.  The answer is YOU.  Turn the thing off.  You decide when you’ll receive information and when you won’t. Take back your power!
 
What you will gain by disconnecting:
 
Time
Money
Peace
Focus
Calmness
Stress reduction
Happiness
Self awareness
Absorption in a person, pet, project, task, activity
Increased attention span
Groundedness
 
What you’ll actually be giving up:
 
Cortisol, the stress hormone
Constant interruptions
Addiction/dependence on an appliance
The need for instant gratification
Being at servitude of a device
 
This is not deprivation it’s possession!  Empowerment!

Are YOU ready to take back you power?

What negative things will you be letting go of by unplugging?  Please let me know in the comments below!

PART 6 - HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO HEAL?
 
You will get out of it what you put into it.  The deeper your commitment to this process the more profound the change will be.
 
Full Self-Retreat - The Minimalist Detox
 
You will fully detach and unplug
 
This is great for

•  Deep healing
• Addictions
• Full lifestyle change
• Inviting real happiness and positivity
• Saving a lot of money and acquiring wealth
• Putting yourself first
• Seeing the true beauty in life

Just to name a few!
 
Changing Your Subconscious. 
 
What is the subconscious mind?  It’s the the mother board of the brain.  In some ways it’s like the default settings on your phone or computer. It’s why we don’t have to think about breathing because it’s programmed into our brains.  However, you can also breathe consciously like when you’re meditating.  Your subconscious brain is your default program.  The part of your brain that takes over and drives you home when you’re lost in thought or busy performing your favorite song.  The very first time you drive someplace you need to focus, to concentrate, but the more often you go there the less you have to think about it.  Soon you can get there on autopilot.  Why?  Because a conscious thought performed over and over became part of the subconscious.    It’s your auto pilot.  It’s also where we store all our beliefs. 
 
Think of it like this.  If a wagon travels up and down the same dirt road over and over, eventually it’s wheels will create a rut in the road.  However, once that rut is created the same wheels that created it will fall into it, unable to break free from that path without great effort.  The wheel creates the rut, then the rut controls the wheel.  The mind is like that with thoughts.  For this purpose the thoughts you have are the wheel and the subconscious mind is the road.    If you think the same thing over and over again it will become part of the subconscious brain and that thought process will take on a life of its own.    The though becomes the default program, the auto pilot.  That’s why it’s so hard to change.  But you can change it.  You just have to shift where the wheels of that wagon travel.  Or drive it down a different road, altogether. By doing so, again and again, over time you can create a new healthy track for the wheels to travel.  How do I know?  Because I’ve done it.
 
So that’s what we’re going to do.  We’re going to break free of those ruts and drive your wagon down a different road.  But it’s going to take thought, concentration, effort, commitment and time.  And it will need to be repeated over and over again.

For the Full Program:  
Turn off the internet and cable for one year.
 
You can go to the library for anything you need.
 
What you will do in your massive amounts of free time?
 
Practice self-care.  Exercise in the way that best suits you and makes you happiest.  This time is all about getting to know yourself
 
What you are trying to accomplish with this?
 
Changing your levels of dopamine and what makes you happy!
 
If this sounds impractical for you we'll do the next best thing.
 
No More WiFi. 
 
You go where the computer is, it doesn’t go where you are.  You will move your computer into a separate room and you must sit in front of it to be online.  This time should be scheduled and limited.  Just as if you had turned off your internet and had to go to the library. If you use your phone to go online you will also have to do this only in a designated area for a very limited amount of time. 
 
You are on retreat.  Your days will no longer be frittered away online.  

Does this sound like something YOU are willing to do?  Will you give it a try?  Please let me know in the comments below the video!  Thank you!  xoAmie

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