​Post 10 - Move a Muscle Change a Thought

Going on a personal, long term self-retreat requires commitment and discipline.   You need time and quite to focus inward and to practice self-care.  The goal is to develop a true sense of self and figure out who you are as an individual.  To get to know yourself and to be autonomous.  Who are you when you have the freedom to act independently… without the input, judgement or opinions of others whispering in your ear?
 
As we first discussed in part 3, you must learn be kind to yourself, practice self-respect, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and there is to be no negative self-talk.  No putting yourself down or calling yourself bad names.  Like the saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, we should say nothing at all.  If you are going to change the way you feel about yourself, you need to treat yourself like you are important and worthy, and you must to rewrite your internal dialogue.
 
Once you cut out the clutter and the noise, you’ll be amazed at how much time you discover.  Go for walks but go in silence.  No music in your headphones.  Listen to the birds singing, look at the sky and the trees.  If you find it impossible to turn off the negative chatter in your head then it’s ok to listen to meditations with positive affirmations, light classical or meditation music especially those with sounds of nature in the background, but keep the volume low and relaxing.  But use this only as a bridge.  Your goal is to be able to spend quiet time with yourself without noise and distractions.  I suggest that you use the same refocusing technique for walking as you do for meditation.  When your thoughts begin to wander bring the focus back to the breath.  There’s no hurry to this goal it’s a marathon not a sprint.
 
Also, the ultimate goal here is not to walk without thought, it’s to walk without “noise” and/or negative thought.  Moving the body is one of the best ways to clear your head and consider where you’d like your life to go and come up with plans on how best to get there.  I’ve had some of my best ideas and greatest epiphanies while hiking and walking!
 
Here’s an exercise.

• If you cannot keep negative thoughts out of your head and find walking with soothing music much more calming that’s perfectly fine.  Let’s say you go for a one hour walk every day.
• Week One:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for your full walk.
• Week Two:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for the first 50 minutes and walk the last 10 minutes in silence.
• Week Three:  Walk with your calming music or meditation set to a low volume for the first 45 minutes and walk the last 15 minutes in silence.
• Continue doing this and every week add another 5 minutes of walking without and headphones.

 
I suggest that when you walk, you take your cell phone for safety but turn it to silent, turn off vibrate, and refrain from checking it for the duration of your walk. 
 
practice yoga and meditation. 
 
Conversely, I offer the same advice for meditation as I do for walking.  If you’re unable to “clear your head” as it were while meditating start with short, guided meditations. 

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PART 9 - FEED YOUR SOUL
 
What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted and had all day to do it?
 
When you get rid of the time vampires in your life you gain an enormous amount of time and when you’re on a quest to get to know yourself it is your divine right to find the answer to that question.
 
Every so often, take a day to feed your soul and do whatever makes you happy.  Every Sunday morning during my self-retreat – and for many years after - I went to “church”.  For me, nature is my church so I went on a long hike in the woods.  I had a book called “50 Hikes in Connecticut” by Mary Anne Hardy and each week – weather permitting - I’d pick a different hike and study up on it as Sunday approached.  Armed with the book, maps I’d printed at the library, my hiking pack, snacks, lunch and water, I’d let someone know where I was planning to go (for safety) and head out early in the morning.  It was my bliss.  I’d disappear onto a trail, hiking along immersed in the sounds and scents of the woods.  I’d picnic on rock with an overlook or picking table provided by the state parks, and I have myself a fine time!
 
Question:  What will you do to feed your soul? 
Answer: Anything you damn well please!  

What will you do to feed your soul?  Let me know in the comments below!  xoAmie
​
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Watch the companion Video! 

 POST 10 - TAKING BACK YOUR POWER
 
We’ve spoken in terms of what you’d have to give up by letting go of some of the modern conveniences rather than what you will gain.  It’s time to flip that conversation.  Those of us old enough to remember the time before computers and cell phones… and even a time before email and answering machines may have an easier time of this.
 
The news was on in the evening.  If you needed more you could read the paper but there wasn’t a constant assault of noise and information.  If something really big happened, news wise, they’d break into programming to deliver it.  Often someone would call to ask if you’d heard it.  If you missed that, the news would get to you one way or another and not having instant knowledge didn’t change what happened.  News has a way of traveling with or without an app notification.  Speaking of notifications I have all of mine turned off.  I check them they don’t check me.
 
When I was younger we had a natural way of prioritizing and focusing on what was right in front of us.  If you were out playing and the phone rang you simply missed the call never even knowing that it came.  If it was important they’d call back.  We did things without interruption.  If we were out having a meal with a friend the words “sorry, I have to take this” never crossed our lips.  We just did the one thing.  What a concept! 
 
Believe it or not, we can return to this singleness of focus.  The cell phone, tv, and radio all have off buttons.  If we’re having a meal with a friend, going out for a walk, watching a movie or otherwise occupied, why not switch off your phone?  If this thought makes you uneasy ask yourself one question; Who’s in charge around here?  You or the phone.  The answer is YOU.  Turn the thing off.  You decide when you’ll receive information and when you won’t. Take back your power!
 
What you will gain by disconnecting:
 
Time
Money
Peace
Focus
Calmness
Stress reduction
Happiness
Self awareness
Absorption in a person, pet, project, task, activity
Increased attention span
Groundedness
 
What you’ll actually be giving up:
 
Cortisol, the stress hormone
Constant interruptions
Addiction/dependence on an appliance
The need for instant gratification
Being at servitude of a device
 
This is not deprivation it’s possession!  Empowerment!

Are YOU ready to take back you power?

What negative things will you be letting go of by unplugging?  Please let me know in the comments below!

PART 6 - HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO HEAL?
 
You will get out of it what you put into it.  The deeper your commitment to this process the more profound the change will be.
 
Full Self-Retreat - The Minimalist Detox
 
You will fully detach and unplug
 
This is great for

•  Deep healing
• Addictions
• Full lifestyle change
• Inviting real happiness and positivity
• Saving a lot of money and acquiring wealth
• Putting yourself first
• Seeing the true beauty in life

Just to name a few!
 
Changing Your Subconscious. 
 
What is the subconscious mind?  It’s the the mother board of the brain.  In some ways it’s like the default settings on your phone or computer. It’s why we don’t have to think about breathing because it’s programmed into our brains.  However, you can also breathe consciously like when you’re meditating.  Your subconscious brain is your default program.  The part of your brain that takes over and drives you home when you’re lost in thought or busy performing your favorite song.  The very first time you drive someplace you need to focus, to concentrate, but the more often you go there the less you have to think about it.  Soon you can get there on autopilot.  Why?  Because a conscious thought performed over and over became part of the subconscious.    It’s your auto pilot.  It’s also where we store all our beliefs. 
 
Think of it like this.  If a wagon travels up and down the same dirt road over and over, eventually it’s wheels will create a rut in the road.  However, once that rut is created the same wheels that created it will fall into it, unable to break free from that path without great effort.  The wheel creates the rut, then the rut controls the wheel.  The mind is like that with thoughts.  For this purpose the thoughts you have are the wheel and the subconscious mind is the road.    If you think the same thing over and over again it will become part of the subconscious brain and that thought process will take on a life of its own.    The though becomes the default program, the auto pilot.  That’s why it’s so hard to change.  But you can change it.  You just have to shift where the wheels of that wagon travel.  Or drive it down a different road, altogether. By doing so, again and again, over time you can create a new healthy track for the wheels to travel.  How do I know?  Because I’ve done it.
 
So that’s what we’re going to do.  We’re going to break free of those ruts and drive your wagon down a different road.  But it’s going to take thought, concentration, effort, commitment and time.  And it will need to be repeated over and over again.

For the Full Program:  
Turn off the internet and cable for one year.
 
You can go to the library for anything you need.
 
What you will do in your massive amounts of free time?
 
Practice self-care.  Exercise in the way that best suits you and makes you happiest.  This time is all about getting to know yourself
 
What you are trying to accomplish with this?
 
Changing your levels of dopamine and what makes you happy!
 
If this sounds impractical for you we'll do the next best thing.
 
No More WiFi. 
 
You go where the computer is, it doesn’t go where you are.  You will move your computer into a separate room and you must sit in front of it to be online.  This time should be scheduled and limited.  Just as if you had turned off your internet and had to go to the library. If you use your phone to go online you will also have to do this only in a designated area for a very limited amount of time. 
 
You are on retreat.  Your days will no longer be frittered away online.  

Does this sound like something YOU are willing to do?  Will you give it a try?  Please let me know in the comments below the video!  Thank you!  xoAmie

​Order  Amie's book!

 HOW TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF AND REVEAL THE SOURCE OF YOUR ISSUES – Turning your life into a full-time retreat.

This is part 5 in a series.  Click here or "Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart" in the categories menu to go to the full series
 
If doing what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, you’ll have to do something else.  Once again simple but not easy.  In order to find out who you really are – to really get to know yourself – you will have to create space in your life.  A lot of it.
 
The Wisdom of Minimalism (Where Terrifying Meets Extraordinary)
 
Turn off the noise.  It is a distraction and a huge time vampire.  I went all the way with this one because, well, I was really ready.  I was sick to death of living the way I was living and feeling the way I was feeling so I made a drastic change.  It also dovetailed perfectly with one of my “symptoms” which was my financial problems.  Even if you don’t have financial issues, there is still great beauty in living with less.
 
I turned off my internet (breathe), my cable and my landline telephone.  It was a terrifying step to take – and let me tell you, my internet/cable provider did not make it easy.  They made offer upon offer to keep from losing me as a customer but I stood firm.  Once I did it, it was like the scene from The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy’s house got spit out of the twister.  She landed with a thud and everything went silent.  Being left alone with yourself without TV or internet is terrifying and liberating in equal measure although the liberating part is a little harder to absorb. 
 
So there is was alone I my quiet little house.  Now what? What the hell am I supposed to DO?  What will you do?  And the answer is… anything you want! 
 
Here’s the list of what I stopped doing:
 
Watching the news.
Watching tv or movies with no redeeming qualities.
Socializing and/or having relationships with toxic people.
Eating unhealthy food.
Wasting time on things that don’t matter.
Negative self-talk.
 
Here’s a list of some the things I did with my new free time:

• Went for walks (movement is a wonderful facilitator of healthy, productive thought)
• Went running.
• Read
• Practiced yoga and meditation.
• Took on the projects I’d been putting off forever.
  • Decluttered, organized and cleaned my house.
  • Worked on simple repairs on my house.
  • Paired down my wardrobe.
• Worked in my garden.
• Whet to “pick your own” fruit and veggie farms from spring to fall.
• Went to the library.
  • I’d go with a list of things I wanted to look-up/research online.
  • Checked out books, books on tape and movies with positive and empowering themes.
• Journaled
• Soaked in the tub, sometimes reading in there for hours.
• Practiced self-care/skin-care.
• Started working on my art again.
• Stared sewing again.
• Went to museums.
• I spent time with only a very few of my closest friends who were on similar paths but intentionally kept socializing to a minimum.
• Worked on my career deciding which parts to expand and which to let go of.
• I identified the source of my issues – my low self-esteem – and made a concerted effort to heal.
• I went to bed and got up at the time that best suited me.
• Cooked healthy meals for myself.
• I tried new things I’d always wanted to try but never got around to just to see if I liked them.

 
What I accomplished in doing all this was discovering who I was and what I most liked to do.  I created a schedule that was all mine filled with things I never even knew I liked or never had the time to do.  I became so much calmer and more relaxed and without the barrage of negativity from the news and social media I was happier, more centered and grounded.
 
The better care I took of myself the better I felt about myself. The better I felt about myself the better choices I made.  The better choices I made the more I earned self-respect.  The more self-respect I had, the better care I took of myself, an so on… 
 
In doing this for an extended period of time, I found clarity.  I found my identity.  I found my strength and power. I began to feel really sure of myself and confident in who I am.  I became far less mailable to the opinions of others.  I rewrote my internal dialogue. 
 
I discovered I was passionate about going to bed and getting up early, going for a run at first light and then making myself a big healthy breakfast.  I remember how much I adored hiking in the woods and loved my artwork.  I even had my first real art show!  I was an artist!  Who the heck knew?  I found that I couldn’t wait to make myself dinner and watch a dvd about an empowered woman or how someone overcame the odds and found true happiness.  I enjoyed it so much that I’d actually get excited about it!   I did these things daily – even on days I had to work I could still get up early and do what I wanted. The same at the end of the day.  By doing exactly what I wanted – good healthy habits - for an extended period of time I found I very much preferred my own company doing what I enjoyed over many other things.  I certainly wasn’t going to spend my time with people who weren’t positive and really enjoyable to be around or doing something that was unhealthy for myself.  I got to the point where it simply was no longer an option. 
 
Here’s something else I found - The brain is the original search engine; it remembers what you’re looking for and seeks it out, putting it in your path over and over.  When I stopped making unhealthy choices those choices, over time, fell away and no longer presented themselves in my life.  It’s not that they no longer existed they just became so uninteresting to me, they fell of my radar.  Remember the Jersey Barriers? (Click here to read my Jersey Barrier reference!) 
 
I learned that it becomes second nature to make healthy choices for yourself when you like yourself and know exactly who you are.  And it becomes second nature to do so with a quiet grace.
 
 
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
– Daphne Rose Kingma

​Read Amie's Book:
​KINTSUKUROI HEART; More Beautiful for Having Been Broken
​Order on Kindle or in paperback on Amazon 

WHERE TO BEGIN
 
This is part 3 in a series.  Click here or "Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart" in the categories menu to go to the full series
Click here for Part 1
 Click here for Part 2

Taking Inventory
​
I started by looking at what wasn’t working in my life – aka – the symptoms – and working backward to find the underlying cause.  Here’s what I mean.  For me, the two biggest “problems” were my lack of money/resulting debt, and making poor relationship choices.  Then I asked myself why it was happening?  Why was I broke?  Why did I invite chaos and negativity into my life in the form of unhealthy relationships?
 
Because of the deep seated beliefs I held about myself.  If I really, deep down, thought I deserved better I would have required it.  This concept was easier to understand when it came to relationships but not so easy when it came to money.  On the surface I thought it was the economy or just my crappy luck.  Perhaps it was to a degree, but honestly, it was just more chaos and a manifestation – or symptom, if you prefer - of how I saw myself… as in “not enough”.  If I doubted my own worth how could I claim it? 
 
Ok, so I discovered and named the source.  I did that piece of the work for you and I’m happy to pass it along to give you the starting point.  Now, your job is to accept this truth, fine tune it to fit your specific situation(s), and make the commitment to put the plan into action and heal yourself.  It’s a large undertaking but entirely doable!
 
It bears repeating - How or why we originally acquired these feelings of low self-worth is irrelevant for now.  Because regardless of how they got there, here we are.  And now it’s up to us to fix it.
 
SO, IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT US!  
And admitting that we are at the center of our issues. 
 
Doing this – acknowledging that how we view ourselves is the root of our issues - rather than blaming outward circumstances, or someone else – gives us the power to change.  If someone or something else is the cause of our issues than there’s nothing we can do to change anything.  Taking ownership means taking back our power.  This part is crucial.  You must own it. 
 
So now what?  Now we fix it.
 
THE FOUR-PRONGED PLAN OF INTENTION.

• You've named - and accepted - the source so the work of healing can begin – re-writing your deep-seated internal beliefs.
• You’ll clean up any messes you’ve made.
• You’ll reduce or eliminate what isn’t working in your life.
• You’ll introduce or expand what is working in your life.

 
Moving forward, as the healing takes hold, good choices and positive movement will become more and more intuitive and a self-perpetuating upward spiral takes hold.  Your thoughts, words and actions will be in service of your very best self and fulfilling your dreams.  It will become second-nature.
 
THE FOUR-PRONGED PLAN OF ACTION.
 
Note: I strongly suggest writing this out with physical pen and paper.  It connects you more deeply to the work.
 
Make a list of what isn’t working in your life. Start with the big things.  What are you doing that you need to stop doing?  Write it down.  Now, what aren’t you doing that you need to start?  Write it down.  You’ll apply these things to your personalized Four-Pronged Plan!  They will become the promise you make to yourself.  Your mission statement.  You can use pen and paper or purchase the workbook here.  
 
Rule Number One: 
 
MINE:
No relationships of any kind with men for one year.  None.  No dates, no flirting, no phone calls, not even hanging out platonically with male friends (because they also offered attention and externally fed my damaged ego).  It was absolute.  No relationships.  No men.  Period.  They were part of the problem and also a distraction and I could afford neither, so they were the first thing to go.  I was officially and completely off the market.
 
YOURS:
What will you let go of that isn’t serving your higher purpose?  What needs to go?  Are you over spending?  Talking smack about yourself and/or others?  People pleasing or tolerating unkindness? Smoking, overeating, or another self-destructive behavior?  Get very specific.  Break it down into segments. Use my example above as a template.  If it’s more than one thing, fill this part in more than once. 
 
Your Rule Number One Template: 
No (fill in the blank) of any kind for one year.  None.  No (fill in the blank), no (fill in the blank), no (fill in the blank), not even (fill in the blank) because (state your deep truth).  It is absolute.  No (fill in the blank).  No (fill in the blank).  Period.  This is part of the problem and also a distraction and I can afford neither, so they are/it is the first thing to go.  I am officially and completely (fill in the blank).
 
Rule Number Two: 
Focus inward and practice self-care.  I’d never really developed a true sense of self or figured out who I was as an individual.  You need to get to know yourself and to be autonomous.  You will also be kind to yourself, practice self-respect, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and there will be no more negative self-talk.  You will stop putting yourself down or calling yourself names.  Not even in jest.  Like the saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, you will say nothing at all.  If you are going to change the way you feel about yourself, you must to treat yourself like you are important and worthy, and you must rewrite your internal dialogue.  We will have an upcoming, detailed posts specifically on self-care and discovering yourself as an individual!
 
Note: If you let something slip out, if you refer to yourself in a derogatory fashion, stop as soon as you realize it.  Look in the mirror if you can, but breathe and tell yourself this.: “I’m sorry.  That was unkind.  It’s simply not true.  I deserve much better.  Please forgive the mistake.  I will do better next time.  I am amazing.” Forgive yourself and breathe…
 
Rule Number Three: 
MINE:
Career.  Many years ago, in 1998 to be exact, I’d chosen a career in holistic wellness.  A field that I loved but, in practice, had never really enjoyed.  I would now allow myself to be fully focused on developing and nurturing my career, to let go of the parts I didn’t love and pursue and expand the parts I was passionate about, to continue my education and become an expert in my field, to know my own worth and to claim it.  Taking control of my debt also came under this heading.  It’s up to you to decide if cleaning up any messes you’ve made becomes part of rule number 1 or rule number 2.  We’ll address this further in upcoming posts/videos.
 
YOURS; Here's your template:
​What will you begin to create?  What steps will you take to live your dream, achieve your higher purpose.  What will you do every day to live in service of making it happen?   If it’s more than one thing, fill this part in more than once.
 

I will now allow myself to be fully focused on developing and nurturing my (fill in the blank), to create time and space to (state you deep desire) to (state your commitment to the process and how you will go about it and your ultimate goal), to own my right to pursue my dreams, know my own worth and to claim it.  
 
RULE NUMBER FOUR:
This will come a bit later.
 
That's it, simple but not necessarily easy.  If you are choosing to do the full program, the entire year will be devoted to helping yourself heal; mind, body, spirit and craft.  Yes, one year!  We are talking about very deep healing!  You can also choose to try it for as little as a weekend - or one month - thee months or six.  Or, you read the blog, watch the videos and put them into practice where, when and how you see fit.  But again, very deep, long lasting, life changing healing takes a long time.  I did it and it changed my life in ways I never dreamed of!
 
Take some time with this part – the next two weeks if you need it.  Get quiet, sit with yourself.  Do some real soul-searching.  These are true commitments you’re making to yourself.  You owe it to yourself.  It’s time.

Quote of the Day
"Acknowledging that how we view ourselves is the root of our issues - rather than blaming outward circumstances, or someone else – gives us the power to change. Taking ownership means taking back our power."
Amie Gabriel  

If you can relate to any, or all of these statements to any degree, I’ll see you here in the next installment.  Thursday, January 28th at 1 pm Pacific time.

Can you relate?  Are you considering participating in this program?  Please let us know what you think!  Comment below... I's love to hear your thoughts! xoAmie

Read Amie's Book:
​KINTSUKUROI HEART; More Beautiful for Having Been Broken
​Order on Kindle or in paperback by clicking on the Amazon Affiliate Book Link below!

Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart; Part 2
LOW SELF ESTEEM IS A GATEWAY DRUG.
Taking Responsibility
 
This is part 2 in a series.  Click "Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart" in the categories menu to go to the full series.
Click here for part 1 
 
Last week we identified that low self-esteem is the original “gateway drug” even if your challenges have nothing whatsoever to do with substance abuse. Click here to read the post.  I also said that, even if you don’t initially think it applies to you, I’d illustrate how it may - so stay with me. 
 
Today we’ll discuss how accepting this truth – that low self-esteem is source of our issues - can change this gateway drug into your gateway to healing.
 
LET’S EXPLORE SOME SCENARIOS:

• I over spent and I blew my budget.  And now I don’t have enough to pay rent.
• I am overwhelmed.  I don’t have enough time in my day to do half of the things I need to do!  But my friend asked me for a favor and I said yes.
• Instead of exercising and eating healthy just I sat on the couch.  I ate an entire bag of chips, half a package of cookies and submarine sandwich. 
• I’m busy!  I don’t have time to be nice.
• My best friend told me she wanted to go back to school.  And I told her what a stupid Idea I thought that was.  C’mon, at her age?
• I’m in a relationship with someone who verbally and emotionally abuses me. 
• Everything I own has to have a designer label on it where everyone can see it. 
• I went out with the girls for a drink last night.  YOLO!  I don’t even remember how or when I got home.
• I got into a relationship with a married man. 
• I slept with my girlfriend’s boyfriend.
• Every day I find a way to emasculate my husband.  It doesn’t matter if we’re alone or in public. 
• I blew the mortgage at the track.
• Who the hell does she think she is?  I gotta ask because...
• I screamed at someone in another car because they cut me off.  Then I gave them the finger and I told them where they could go. 
• You’re right, what do I know… I shouldn’t even try.
• I engaged in a battle with someone I don’t even know on Social Media. 
• I tell people exactly what I think, even if it hurts their feelings.  I’m honest like that.
• I spend hours, and hours, and hours on FB – watching a movie – shopping - cleaning the house - instead of pursuing my dreams. 

 
Do any of these statements – or a version of them – resonate with you?  Now read them again, but this time tack on the words “Because I feel so good about myself.” at the end.  For a clearer illustration you can watch the companion video by clicking here.
 
Now you get it, right?  It’s entirely contradictory.  Any type of behavior that doesn’t honor yourself or who you want to be, isn’t in service of your dream, or in pursuit of being or becoming the very best version of yourself, comes from a place of feeling “less than.”  People who truly feel good about themselves don’t think, speak, or behave in ways that are people pleasing, unhelpful, unkind, lack understanding or have a positive purpose – regardless of whether it’s directed inward or outward.  There’s no shame in feeling less than.  It just is.  And the sooner you can embrace that the sooner you can get on with doing something about making it better.
 
Note – don’t confuse an inflated ego with a healthy self-worth!  Ego is the opposite side of the same low-self esteem coin.  People who feel good about themselves don’t have to blow themselves up in an attempt to impress others.  A healthy self-esteem isn’t greater than or less than; It’s equal to.
 
SO, NOW WHAT?
 
I’ll tell you everything – step by step - in this series. Again - It’s free.   There’s nothing to buy to gain access to all of it.  If you’d really like you can read my book, Kintsukuroi Heart; More Beautiful For Having Been Broken, or order the companion workbook to this series, Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart, both on Amazon, but you certainly don’t have to.  All you really need is occasional access to the internet and a pad and pen.  Oh, and a deep commitment to change… if only you could order that on Amazon!
 
HOW I AND WHY I CREATED THIS PROGRAM.
 
I had issues.  Big issues.  As I mentioned before, the specifics of how those issues presented themselves aren’t important right now.  I’ll talk more about them in a later video/blog.
 
Initially, I worked through my issues by taking the traditional route of therapy, medication*, self-help groups and talking with friends, which all worked and I still recommend.  But for me, they only worked for so long and only to a degree.  They were either too costly, didn’t go deep enough or they addressed the symptoms and not the root cause; I needed to dig down and truly change the way I looked at things and, most importantly, change how I viewed myself.  If I could do that, I knew my life would change. 

*Note - titrated off of my anti-depression medication with the permission and under the very close supervision of my doctor.  Never EVER replace the experience of another over the advice of your trusted health care professional!
 
Over the years I’d gathered inspiration through books and movies.  Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Under the Tuscan Sun (the movie).  A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson.  Educated by Tara Westover.  Wild by Cheryl Strayed.  Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Menton.  The list goes on. (All linked below!)
 
However, most of the books and films in this genre, wonderful stories that I have deeply loved (I recommend them all and have linked* all the titles above and below), came from a place so unique that, although fabulously inspirational were, for me, mostly unrelatable or unactionable – the experiences of the very fortunate or wealthy, or situations so extreme that very few people find themselves – offering remedies that were simply out of my reach.  I wasn’t in a position to take time away at the beach or travel around the world to find myself, I had to work!  I didn’t have extra money or a scholarship to an Ivy League school.  I deeply admired those who did and longed to be in their shoes, but I simply wasn’t. There were times when I couldn’t even afford to buy those books or a ticket to the movies, I checked them out of the library.  But I read them.  I watched them.  They inspired me and gave me something to shoot for! 
 
So, being a determined and resourceful little bugger and having the professional training, I devised a way to do these extraordinary things – to embark on a life-altering journey of healing – without leaving home and with rather ordinary resources.  These “ordinary” circumstances are what often stops women from doing something extraordinary.  You are my people and I am here to inspire you! 
 
I put myself on an intense minimalistic, at home self-retreat.  Exactly what I would do if I paid thousands of dollars to go away on retreat or soul searching quest.  I committed to addressing my issues via holistic wellness, intentional physical exercise, and the mind/body/spirit connection.  I tried new things.  I practiced yoga and meditation, and began living with defined intention.  I unplugged and sought peace, quiet, and solitude.  These things are easily accessible and available to all of us for free or at very little cost.  In fact, once I went into this wholeheartedly – a time of concentrated self-discovery and minimalism - I actually saved a ton of money.  This realistic vantage point is one way in which I feel this program is different; it's wholly accessible and meets you at a place where many of us find ourselves when starting over.
 
I know it works because I created it, I’ve applied it, I’ve lived it, I’ve practiced it and afterwards, the really poor life choices I’d been allowing to enter my life on a daily basis became inconceivable to me.  Not because I focused on changing those choices but because I changed how I felt on the inside.  The positive choices I began making became a symptom of how I felt about myself just like the negative ones had been. I didn’t work on the symptoms –I addressed the root cause of the symptoms.   I healed the person who was making them.
 
To be clear, I had to clean up the mess of some of those choices and so will you.  Not to worry, I’ll help.  I’ll give you the tools and we’ll go over all of it, step by step.
 
Now is your time to work on acceptance.  To ready yourself to embark upon a journey of deep and lasting change and true transformation.  Next week, we start the transformation.

Quote of the Day:
"The positive choices I began making became a symptom of how I felt about myself just like the negative ones had been. I didn’t work on the symptoms –I addressed the root cause of the symptoms.  I healed the person who was making them."  
Amie Gabriel
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If you can relate to any, or all of these statements to any degree, I’ll see you here in the next installment.  Thursday, January 21st at 1 pm Pacific time.

Can you relate?  Are you considering participating in this program?  Please let us know what you think!  Comment below... I's love to hear your thoughts! xoAmie

Scroll down for the YouTube Companion Video! 
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ORDER AMIE'S BOOK BY CLICKING HERE

Check out the video for three big announcements for the New Year!  Let me know what you think in the comments!  xoAmie

​Different ages.  Different decades.  Different circumstances.  There are specific events in our lives that shift our paths, write our stories and break our hearts, adding layers, depth and complexity to the clean-slated girls we once were.  
 
Each chapter in Part I of Kintsukuroi Heart is a non-fiction stand-alone story.  A collection of vignettes offering glimpses of the exact moment in a woman’s life when something happens, either by choice or circumstance, that changes her course.
 
In Part II we see how these experiences, though deeply personal and unique, are the threads that intertwine and connect us all, fostering compassion and empathy for one another and, hopefully, for ourselves. 
 
In Part III we see how, as women, like all forces of nature and works of art, our beauty is formed through refraction, revealed in dimension and contrast, shadow and light, our benevolence becoming both the result and the salve, the subject and lens.  The road may be beastly but the result, if allowed, can be spectacular.

​“Kintsukuroi: kin-tsU-kU-roi (noun) (v. phr.)  ‘To repair with gold.’ The Japanese art of mending broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.  As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object rather than something to disguise, understanding that the piece becomes more beautiful for having been broken.”

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”  ~Maya Angelou~ 

Next week's post, Chapter One; Waiting Room on Thursday, December 10th at 10 am Eastern, 1: pm Pacific time

Want to read more now?  I can't wait to share this book with you!
Order on Kindle or in paperback by clicking on the Amazon Link below!

​Thank you so much, xoAmie