POST 10 - TAKING BACK YOUR POWER
 
We’ve spoken in terms of what you’d have to give up by letting go of some of the modern conveniences rather than what you will gain.  It’s time to flip that conversation.  Those of us old enough to remember the time before computers and cell phones… and even a time before email and answering machines may have an easier time of this.
 
The news was on in the evening.  If you needed more you could read the paper but there wasn’t a constant assault of noise and information.  If something really big happened, news wise, they’d break into programming to deliver it.  Often someone would call to ask if you’d heard it.  If you missed that, the news would get to you one way or another and not having instant knowledge didn’t change what happened.  News has a way of traveling with or without an app notification.  Speaking of notifications I have all of mine turned off.  I check them they don’t check me.
 
When I was younger we had a natural way of prioritizing and focusing on what was right in front of us.  If you were out playing and the phone rang you simply missed the call never even knowing that it came.  If it was important they’d call back.  We did things without interruption.  If we were out having a meal with a friend the words “sorry, I have to take this” never crossed our lips.  We just did the one thing.  What a concept! 
 
Believe it or not, we can return to this singleness of focus.  The cell phone, tv, and radio all have off buttons.  If we’re having a meal with a friend, going out for a walk, watching a movie or otherwise occupied, why not switch off your phone?  If this thought makes you uneasy ask yourself one question; Who’s in charge around here?  You or the phone.  The answer is YOU.  Turn the thing off.  You decide when you’ll receive information and when you won’t. Take back your power!
 
What you will gain by disconnecting:
 
Time
Money
Peace
Focus
Calmness
Stress reduction
Happiness
Self awareness
Absorption in a person, pet, project, task, activity
Increased attention span
Groundedness
 
What you’ll actually be giving up:
 
Cortisol, the stress hormone
Constant interruptions
Addiction/dependence on an appliance
The need for instant gratification
Being at servitude of a device
 
This is not deprivation it’s possession!  Empowerment!

Are YOU ready to take back you power?

What negative things will you be letting go of by unplugging?  Please let me know in the comments below!
 
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POST 5 – SEEING THROUGH THE EYES OF SELF.  Let the Self-Retreat Begin
 
Rule 4 Turn Off The Noise And Immerse Yourself In Solitude.
 
What is the point of spending large amounts of time in solitude throughout this process?  So you can calm yourself, focus on what you’re doing - and remain focused - without outside influences changing your mood or disrupting your thought process.  Have you ever been in a perfectly good mood when something upsetting comes on the news or someone says something rude or unkind or a song comes on the radio that stirs an unpleasant or sad memory?  It can shift how you feel or take you out of yourself.  We’re trying to avoid that.  You will be working hard to move into a specific mindset and stay there without the outside word putting in its two cents worth.  You will be in complete control of your environment and the messages that are getting through to you.
 
So how do we do that?  With quiet and solitude.

• Turn off the TV and the radio and keep it off.
  1. Instead, you will pick and choose uplifting, inspirational dvds, books, audio books, movies, etc. without any commercial interruptions or unwanted noise or messages.
• Stay away from toxic relationships. 
• Stay away from social media.  I mean it.  Turn off all your notifications.
• Use the automated response on email, text, phone etc.  You can word it however you would like but may I suggest the honest approach.  Here’s an example.

 
Dear friends,
 
I have chosen to embark on a long-term journey of self-awareness and self-improvement.  During this deeply introspective time of self-retreat, as with any retreat, I will not be taking any phone calls, emails, texts or visitors. Please know that I am healthy and well and I am so excited to begin this wonderful journey of becoming the very best version of myself. 
 
If you do need to reach me in the case of a true emergency, please email me with “911” in the subject line but please be aware that I have turned off all my notifications and will be checking my e-mail infrequently if at all. Otherwise, I thank you in advance for your understanding and support. 
 
Please be well.
 
Amie
 
Of course there are some people who you will want to reach out to and give advanced notice.
 
As far as socializing, I strongly suggest that you choose only one or two of your very closest, most positive and supportive friends.  The ones you can always count for an encouraging word and a pat on the back.  With these people, I still recommend that you see them infrequently and when you do get together it’s time spent doing something healthy, like going for a walk or sharing a healthful meal or cup of tea.  Talk about your journeys, goals and progress.  It will be even better if this person is on a similar path.  You can cheer each other on!
 
Clean your mirror and keep it clean.  How can you truly see yourself and improve your self image if you are looking at yourself through a film?

PART 6 - HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO HEAL?
 
You will get out of it what you put into it.  The deeper your commitment to this process the more profound the change will be.
 
Full Self-Retreat - The Minimalist Detox
 
You will fully detach and unplug
 
This is great for

•  Deep healing
• Addictions
• Full lifestyle change
• Inviting real happiness and positivity
• Saving a lot of money and acquiring wealth
• Putting yourself first
• Seeing the true beauty in life

Just to name a few!
 
Changing Your Subconscious. 
 
What is the subconscious mind?  It’s the the mother board of the brain.  In some ways it’s like the default settings on your phone or computer. It’s why we don’t have to think about breathing because it’s programmed into our brains.  However, you can also breathe consciously like when you’re meditating.  Your subconscious brain is your default program.  The part of your brain that takes over and drives you home when you’re lost in thought or busy performing your favorite song.  The very first time you drive someplace you need to focus, to concentrate, but the more often you go there the less you have to think about it.  Soon you can get there on autopilot.  Why?  Because a conscious thought performed over and over became part of the subconscious.    It’s your auto pilot.  It’s also where we store all our beliefs. 
 
Think of it like this.  If a wagon travels up and down the same dirt road over and over, eventually it’s wheels will create a rut in the road.  However, once that rut is created the same wheels that created it will fall into it, unable to break free from that path without great effort.  The wheel creates the rut, then the rut controls the wheel.  The mind is like that with thoughts.  For this purpose the thoughts you have are the wheel and the subconscious mind is the road.    If you think the same thing over and over again it will become part of the subconscious brain and that thought process will take on a life of its own.    The though becomes the default program, the auto pilot.  That’s why it’s so hard to change.  But you can change it.  You just have to shift where the wheels of that wagon travel.  Or drive it down a different road, altogether. By doing so, again and again, over time you can create a new healthy track for the wheels to travel.  How do I know?  Because I’ve done it.
 
So that’s what we’re going to do.  We’re going to break free of those ruts and drive your wagon down a different road.  But it’s going to take thought, concentration, effort, commitment and time.  And it will need to be repeated over and over again.

For the Full Program:  
Turn off the internet and cable for one year.
 
You can go to the library for anything you need.
 
What you will do in your massive amounts of free time?
 
Practice self-care.  Exercise in the way that best suits you and makes you happiest.  This time is all about getting to know yourself
 
What you are trying to accomplish with this?
 
Changing your levels of dopamine and what makes you happy!
 
If this sounds impractical for you we'll do the next best thing.
 
No More WiFi. 
 
You go where the computer is, it doesn’t go where you are.  You will move your computer into a separate room and you must sit in front of it to be online.  This time should be scheduled and limited.  Just as if you had turned off your internet and had to go to the library. If you use your phone to go online you will also have to do this only in a designated area for a very limited amount of time. 
 
You are on retreat.  Your days will no longer be frittered away online.  

Does this sound like something YOU are willing to do?  Will you give it a try?  Please let me know in the comments below the video!  Thank you!  xoAmie

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 HOW TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF AND REVEAL THE SOURCE OF YOUR ISSUES – Turning your life into a full-time retreat.

This is part 5 in a series.  Click here or "Healing Your Kintsukuroi Heart" in the categories menu to go to the full series
 
If doing what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, you’ll have to do something else.  Once again simple but not easy.  In order to find out who you really are – to really get to know yourself – you will have to create space in your life.  A lot of it.
 
The Wisdom of Minimalism (Where Terrifying Meets Extraordinary)
 
Turn off the noise.  It is a distraction and a huge time vampire.  I went all the way with this one because, well, I was really ready.  I was sick to death of living the way I was living and feeling the way I was feeling so I made a drastic change.  It also dovetailed perfectly with one of my “symptoms” which was my financial problems.  Even if you don’t have financial issues, there is still great beauty in living with less.
 
I turned off my internet (breathe), my cable and my landline telephone.  It was a terrifying step to take – and let me tell you, my internet/cable provider did not make it easy.  They made offer upon offer to keep from losing me as a customer but I stood firm.  Once I did it, it was like the scene from The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy’s house got spit out of the twister.  She landed with a thud and everything went silent.  Being left alone with yourself without TV or internet is terrifying and liberating in equal measure although the liberating part is a little harder to absorb. 
 
So there is was alone I my quiet little house.  Now what? What the hell am I supposed to DO?  What will you do?  And the answer is… anything you want! 
 
Here’s the list of what I stopped doing:
 
Watching the news.
Watching tv or movies with no redeeming qualities.
Socializing and/or having relationships with toxic people.
Eating unhealthy food.
Wasting time on things that don’t matter.
Negative self-talk.
 
Here’s a list of some the things I did with my new free time:

• Went for walks (movement is a wonderful facilitator of healthy, productive thought)
• Went running.
• Read
• Practiced yoga and meditation.
• Took on the projects I’d been putting off forever.
  • Decluttered, organized and cleaned my house.
  • Worked on simple repairs on my house.
  • Paired down my wardrobe.
• Worked in my garden.
• Whet to “pick your own” fruit and veggie farms from spring to fall.
• Went to the library.
  • I’d go with a list of things I wanted to look-up/research online.
  • Checked out books, books on tape and movies with positive and empowering themes.
• Journaled
• Soaked in the tub, sometimes reading in there for hours.
• Practiced self-care/skin-care.
• Started working on my art again.
• Stared sewing again.
• Went to museums.
• I spent time with only a very few of my closest friends who were on similar paths but intentionally kept socializing to a minimum.
• Worked on my career deciding which parts to expand and which to let go of.
• I identified the source of my issues – my low self-esteem – and made a concerted effort to heal.
• I went to bed and got up at the time that best suited me.
• Cooked healthy meals for myself.
• I tried new things I’d always wanted to try but never got around to just to see if I liked them.

 
What I accomplished in doing all this was discovering who I was and what I most liked to do.  I created a schedule that was all mine filled with things I never even knew I liked or never had the time to do.  I became so much calmer and more relaxed and without the barrage of negativity from the news and social media I was happier, more centered and grounded.
 
The better care I took of myself the better I felt about myself. The better I felt about myself the better choices I made.  The better choices I made the more I earned self-respect.  The more self-respect I had, the better care I took of myself, an so on… 
 
In doing this for an extended period of time, I found clarity.  I found my identity.  I found my strength and power. I began to feel really sure of myself and confident in who I am.  I became far less mailable to the opinions of others.  I rewrote my internal dialogue. 
 
I discovered I was passionate about going to bed and getting up early, going for a run at first light and then making myself a big healthy breakfast.  I remember how much I adored hiking in the woods and loved my artwork.  I even had my first real art show!  I was an artist!  Who the heck knew?  I found that I couldn’t wait to make myself dinner and watch a dvd about an empowered woman or how someone overcame the odds and found true happiness.  I enjoyed it so much that I’d actually get excited about it!   I did these things daily – even on days I had to work I could still get up early and do what I wanted. The same at the end of the day.  By doing exactly what I wanted – good healthy habits - for an extended period of time I found I very much preferred my own company doing what I enjoyed over many other things.  I certainly wasn’t going to spend my time with people who weren’t positive and really enjoyable to be around or doing something that was unhealthy for myself.  I got to the point where it simply was no longer an option. 
 
Here’s something else I found - The brain is the original search engine; it remembers what you’re looking for and seeks it out, putting it in your path over and over.  When I stopped making unhealthy choices those choices, over time, fell away and no longer presented themselves in my life.  It’s not that they no longer existed they just became so uninteresting to me, they fell of my radar.  Remember the Jersey Barriers? (Click here to read my Jersey Barrier reference!) 
 
I learned that it becomes second nature to make healthy choices for yourself when you like yourself and know exactly who you are.  And it becomes second nature to do so with a quiet grace.
 
 
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
– Daphne Rose Kingma

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​KINTSUKUROI HEART; More Beautiful for Having Been Broken
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